Why Your First Date Will Feel Like A Job Interview: You know when you have a job interview and all the questions are completely inappropriate to ask? It’s like they want to see how “close” you are to your family or if you’re planning on having children any time soon. Well, when people go on dates, the first few minutes usually consist of the same set of cliched questions. Some feel awkward, some seem like they’ve been asked before, and some make it sound like this will be more than just a date… Some are just plain weird.
I’m sure we’ve all been on a date or two and have felt like this was either an interview or a business proposition, so I thought I would make a list of the seven most common questions asked on dates and give examples of how to turn them into great conversation pieces.
So let’s begin with the number one question:
1. “Where do you work?”
When this question is asked at the beginning of a date, it immediately makes it sound like some sort of job interview. The only difference is that instead of listing your achievements and skills, you’re listing your hobbies, major, and future plans for the next 10 years.
What to say: “I work at the local pet store.” “I love animals, and I have wanted to work in the pet industry since I was a teenager.” This is a great conversation piece because it gives you a chance to talk about why you love your job, what your goals are, and how you got there. Explain that you weren’t always planning on working at a pet store after you graduated, but now that’s all you can think about.
2. “Where did you go to school?”
Well, this question is almost as bad as the first one since it’s basically asking if we went to a prestigious university or not. In other words, your bank balance revealed more about us as individuals than our interest or awesomeness.
The second part of this question is “where did you go to school?” It’s the equivalent of asking someone where they like to hang out and then immediately following up with “oh, and where do you work? Where do you eat?”basically asking us how much we earn in a very accusing tone. So basically, this was a way for them to gauge how much money they could spend on our food and drinks that evening, but if you answer correctly, they might just go ahead and ask for some more info about the pet store job…
3. “Where do you live?”
Don’t even get me started on this one. The kind of person who asks you this has a stereotypical view of what an individual in their dating pool looks like, so I’m sure anyone who’s ever filled out a survey about their lifestyles has been asked where they live.
The answer to this question has nothing to do with whether or not you’ll get a second date. I mean, you could live in a dungeon apartment and still be incredibly fun, nice, and interesting to be around, unless crazy people are into that kind of thing.
Where you live shows what part of town you spend the most time in, how much money you earn, and how much time on average you spend in a month cleaning the oven.
What to say: “I love where I live; there are so many great restaurants and bars nearby.” You don’t need to tell them where your home is, but if they say something like, “Oh, I know where that is; we should go sometime,” then leave it at that. Go for drinks or dinner, but don’t mention your living situation.
4. “So what do you want to do for the rest of your life?”
This is one of the most common questions asked and one of the worst ones because it seems so disorganized. The person asking it doesn’t give any indication as to what they mean by “the rest of your life.” They don’t say anything about their own goals in life; they just ask you if you have any.
Of course, the ideal response to this question is to say something like, “I want to be happy… I want to spend my life surrounded by friends and family. “I want to travel the world and do things that make me happy.”
But since it’s usually asked in the very first few minutes of meeting someone, you should probably avoid saying something like that. Instead, give a short answer such as “I want to live in Seattle.” or “I plan on going back to college soon.”
What not to say: “I want world peace… I just don’t see why we can’t all get along.
5. “What do you not like about this bar?”
This question seems innocent enough; maybe the person asking it is just trying to find out what their date is interested in.
So if you’re asked this question, don’t automatically assume that someone finds you annoying or has a bad date in mind for you. Maybe they just want to know why you chose this particular place for your one-on-one dinner.
If they ask what else you like about the place, ask why they’re asking; chances are they don’t have a good reason and would rather move on.
How to respond: If they ask why you like the bar, say something like, “I really love the lighting here.” “It’s perfect for a date.” If they ask why you chose the bar, then respond with “I just love the atmosphere here.” It feels so nice; it’s warm and inviting, but at the same time it also gives off this cool vibe. “I don’t know if that makes sense, but…
“Do you like going out to bars and clubs?”
If someone asks you this question, all they’re really saying is that based on what you’ve said, you seem cool enough to go with.But we can’t always tell if people like us or not just by looking at them.
Sometimes people aren’t even comfortable in the bar or club that they’re in, so they might just need some reassurance that it’s okay for them to be there too.
In this situation, it’s a good idea to respond with a short sentence that conveys your desire for the two of you to become friends and explore the place together. ” I’d love to go dancing sometime.
Other reasons why your date may feel like a job interview are:
- She was seated in front of a computer screen.
- You were both required to dress professionally.
- She wore a small amount of make-up or none at all.
- The vibe was very corporate and formal.
This list is by no means exhaustive, but it does serve as an example of some of the ways that your first date might feel like a job interview. It is important to take into consideration that your first date may feel like a job interview because it’s not how you’re used to going on datest you know better than anyone how much work it takes for people to be receptive and open to trusting someone new.
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